His Nightmares
by Nighthawk-Moonshadow
Summary: Perry's been having some strange dreams. What do they have to do with JD, and why is he having them?
1. Chapter 1

(**Hehe, welcome to the first multi-chapter Scrubs fic I ever attempted. This was posted on LJ about 3 months ago, and was written over a crazy ass period of around 3 days. I spent 8 hours at one point glued to the computer chair, letting my muse whirl. I think it shows too; I do enjoy how this came out. Hope you enjoy it as well :D)  
**

If Sacred Heart Hospital was a boomtown in an old Western movie, this would be the part where the tumbleweeds would start rolling and the mysterious, whistling music would begin playing. All was quiet on the home front, but, if history was any indication, the peace wouldn't last.

You could even count off the seconds till the next big incident. Three, two, one…

_SLAM_.

Perry Cox had arrived.

He wasn't alone, as Jordan stormed in after him, eyebrows raised so high that it seemed they would float away into the open ceiling tile that the janitor was currently repairing. Nurses and doctors dove for cover, as the hurricane known as the weekly Cox Family Feud came roaring down the hospital hallways.

"Where the HELL do you get off canceling our dinner plans for tonight, Perry?" Jordan growled, seething at the man. Perry could imagine tendrils of smoke beginning to curl out of her ears as her brain overheated from rage… slowly the pressure expanded and became too much… _boom_! Her head exploded all over the hospital walls. The janitor just made a face before retuning to work.

_Since when did I start daydreaming like Newbie?,_ Perry thought to himself before turning his attentions back to Jordan. "Look, darling dearest, I've got a patient who has about a fifty-fifty chance of surviving the next twelve hours, which means I need to be HERE for the next twelve hours. And unfortunately, that cuts into our little 'let's pretend we're a big happy family' plans for today." His phrasing was of course accompanied by air quotes. Perry Cox never would miss an opportunity to use air quotes.

"Cut the bullshit Perry. You haven't been home before eleven any day this week, and it's always a damned patient that apparently has dragged you away from your home and family. Tell me, do ya just blow your patients immediately, or do you buy 'em flowers and dinner before you let them fuck you on their hospital beds, because I know you, and you cannot stand to be in the same occupied space as anyone for that long unless you're getting some action out of it."

"Christ, Jordan!" Perry cried, slamming his fists into the counter of the reception desk. The only two people who hadn't abandoned their posts, Carla and Laverne, gave him scathing looks but said nothing, returning to their paperwork. Perry momentarily wondered how long it would take Laverne to spread news of this fight to every corner of the hospital, but his train of thought was interrupted as Jordan spoke again.

"Fine, spend all your time here. I don't give a shit. You obviously don't give a crap about anything we discussed in therapy for the past two months. I guess Dr. Arkin was right," she said, laughing bitterly. "You don't have your heart in this relationship. And frankly, Perry, I don't think you even want to try anymore." Before he could speak, she whirled on her heel and stormed out the door.

Perry stood there for a few moments, red faced and seething, brushing the side of his nose enough times in the next minute to make him consider the possibility that he was having an obsessive-compulsive attack of some sort. The answer to that question would have to wait however, as someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"Dr. Cox? Can I ask you something?"

_Newbie._ A devilishly maniacal grin spread onto Perry's lips, and even Laverne was tempted to duck for cover. Perry saw Carla motioning frantically to JD, to try and get him to leave; apparently the younger man realized what was going on, as Perry could feel the body behind him moving away. But it was too late; Perry whirled around and gripped JD's shoulder, the grin still plastered on his face like an obscene gargoyle.

"Shirley, are you just brain dead, or did you not understand what happens when I have a fight with my ex-wife?"

"Uh, I, um…" JD's eyes were so wide at that moment that Perry likened him to a deer caught in the headlights of a 16-wheeler. _Too bad he's about to be turned into road kill, JD as a deer would be pretty cute._

"Zip it, 'Insert-Girl's-Name-Here.' You see how I didn't actually call you a girl? That's the point where you might want to realize that I'm so pissed off that I can't think straight enough to come up with a logical girl's name for you. Generally this is the time when even Kelso uses Ted as a human shield against me, but nooooooo; you feel the need to actually commit hari-kari. My god Newbie, I've become my ex-wife's bitch and you actually expect me to care about your problems right now?"

"I'm sorry! I'll just g-"

"That's right, Grace, you just turn your little behind right around and go get some actual work done, instead of staring off into space for ten minutes while you try to figure out whether you're a summer or a winter- which by the way, you're totally a winter, so that saves you about three day's worth of second guessing yourself; hold onto that information wisely. In fact…"

Perry wrenched the three charts out of JD's hands and flipped through them. "Aha! Not a single one of these is complete, or even close to it. Tell me, Tiffany, do your patients actually cry out for help when they go into cardiac arrest while you read Cosmo, or do they just resign themselves to the fact that they're going to die, so they might as well let you enjoy your makeup tips in peace?"

"Dr. Cox, I've only been in for like a half ho-"

"I don't care how long you've been in, Newbie. I want your ass in motion and working, now. In fact, you took so much time up talking to me, that you could've cured all three of these patients and had the time to get me a coffee- which you will be doing by the way; make it a double shot with cream. Now move." He grasped JD by the shoulders, swung him around, and gave him a hard shove.

JD stumbled a little, catching himself and barely managing to miss the wet spot that had somehow appeared behind him during this whole affair. He glared at the janitor, who whistled absentmindedly as he mopped a few years away, before turning back to Perry.

"Some mentor you are," he huffed, shooting a hurt glare at Perry before turning and trudging away. Perry noticed his shoulders slumping in a sigh, and to his own annoyance, found that his heart squirmed a little as he watched the kid go. _Damnit, I do not do guilt_, he thought to himself as JD disappeared around the corner.

Turning back around, he found Carla glaring at him and preparing to launch into one of her own rants at him. "Would you rather yell at me or go comfort the kid?" he asked before she could start.

She hesitated, weighing her options. Finally, she groaned and moved out from behind the desk. "You're getting off easy for now," she snapped, stabbing a finger against his chest and meeting his gaze squarely. "If you don't want JD to have to remove a foot from your ass, you'd better avoid me for the rest of the day." Then she turned to the side and ran down the hall to catch up with JD.

"You were being a pretty big bastard," Laverne murmured from between the pages of her magazine.

"Hi, I'm Perry Cox."

"Point taken," she said. "Now then, time for today's episode of Sacred Heart Gossip." She strode away, quickening her pace to catch up to a group of nurses.

Perry just leaned against the wall and banged his head into the plaster.

>> 

The dull glow of the plasma screen TV did nothing to soothe the tensions Perry was feeling. Neither did the glass of scotch he had gripped in his fist. In fact, if he didn't loosen the pressure on the glass…

_Shit._

The glass shattered between his fingers, cutting into his palms and splattering scotch onto the carpet. "Motherfucker!" he growled quietly, being careful not to wake Jordan or the baby. He quickly stood and went into the bathroom, pulling the shards out of his hand and cleaning it off, watching the blood mix with the tap water and drain downwards.

Scotch, he reflected, was not as good of a tension relief as he'd wished. Hell, maybe he'd had so much stress in his life up to this point that he'd built up a tolerance to anything that might've helped. _The next time I want to squeeze something until it breaks, I should get Newbie's neck or a stress ball._ He winced as he pulled the final piece of glass out and thrust his hand fully under the faucet.

The blood brought back clear memories of the day he'd had. Running around the hospital for hours… saving numerous coding patients… avoiding Carla like the plague… yelling at JD at least twice more… he considered it a very productive day. And these type of days were why he was a fucked up, angry bastard.

Then he came home to the tornado known as Jordan, and they had another half hour long fight over dry cleaning. Apparently, after slaving away at the hospital, he was supposed to pick up her suit for the board meeting tomorrow. _Well, excuse me for working my ass off while she stayed at home with the kid. I really should be thinking more about her fashion needs; not my own health and sanity._

She'd eaten dinner alone in their room, and had only come out to use the bathroom for the rest of the night. That was fine with Perry. She could be mad in any part of the apartment, as long as it didn't distract him from the TV. Hell, she could destroy the rest of the apartment for all he cared.

He considered for a moment sleeping on the couch, but some of the scotch had gotten on one of the cushions, and he didn't feel like lying on a wet spot all night. After binding his hand up with gauze, he cleaned up the glass shards and rubbed the scotch on the couch with a towel. _There's another good chunk of cash to have this cleaned_, he thought to himself, sighing unhappily.

Finally, he walked to the bedroom door and opened it quietly, peeking his head inside. Jordan seemed to be sleeping, so he quickly shed down to his boxers and crawled in next to her. Apparently though, she was still partially awake, as she mumbled something like "stop moving the damn mattress up and down."

_Alright, Newbie. What would you say in a situation like this?_ JD's face popped into his brain, grinning with a naiveté that only he could pull off.

_Don't go to bed angry._

_Gee, thanks, Dr. Phil_, he thought to himself. _I'll use that advice when I'm in Happy Huggy Love Land._

Fortunately, Jordan drifted off, and Perry spent the next hour bitching to himself about the woman lying next to him. And that feeling of guilt that had begun to swell in his chest when he thought about JD? Well of course, that was nothing to be concerned about. Not at all.

>> 

_Murphy's Tavern was only a few blocks from Perry's house. The old establishment was known for its good liquor and atmosphere that catered to people of all ages. These reasons made it the bar of choice for Perry's night out with JD._

_He wondered momentarily how JD had managed to convince him to go out for a drink, but as he laughed at another one of JD's stories from his college days, he found that he didn't care how so much, and resigned himself to enjoying the moment._

"_So then Turk walks out of the bathroom carrying Rowdy, and that pretty much finished my date with Anna. Apparently women don't find the idea of a stuffed dead dog very appealing…" JD sipped his drink, tilting his head back as if he was daydreaming again._

"_Yo there, Gilligan, snap out of it," Perry said, snapping his fingers in front of JD's face. JD jumped on his stool slightly, before blushing and taking another swig. Perry turned his head away for a moment, letting a grin play on his lips._

"_So how's it going with Jordan?"_

_Perry's head snapped back around in an imitation of the demon child from _The Exorcist_. JD's expression was eager, as if he hoped that Perry might let him into this special part of his life. And to his own surprise, Perry found his lips moved quite easily as he related the newest feud that they'd had._

"_And then she has the gall to suggest that I'm not trying my damned hardest to keep this relationship afloat! She's on the fucking board; she should get what I'm doing!"_

"_Well, maybe…"_

"_You'd better think long and hard about what you're gonna say there, Newbie," Perry growled, shoving the beer bottle against JD's nose._

_JD seemed determined to speak however, and pushed the bottle away. "Maybe the reason you're so busy at the hospital is because you're piling up your workload, so you don't have to deal with your relationship."_

"_That's just stupid, Newbie."_

_JD shrugged and took another sip. "Maybe, but it's the only thing that seems logical to me."_

"_Alright, since we obviously won't get anywhere on this conversation route… topic change. What in God's name is playing on the jukebox?"_

_Perry didn't know what time they left the bar that night; they were both a little tipsy. Scratch that. Perry was __tipsy__. JD, who was determined to keep up with Perry's drink consumption, was unfit to even tie his shoelaces in this condition. "Damnit, Newbie, how did I let you convince me to go out when I've got to be in by seven tomorrow?"_

_JD giggled and stumbled a little in the parking lot before righting himself. "S'pose 'm just too cute ta refuse?" he queried, grinning at Perry, who rolled his eyes. "Hey, 's true! I'm a cute drunk." He stumbled again; this time Perry had to catch him._

"_Alright, that's it. Sit your ass on that bench."_

_They sat for an hour outside the bar, watching the sky, until JD was less of a stumbling drunk. "You good to walk now?" Perry asked, standing up._

_JD nodded eagerly and stood, walking back and forth in a straight line for a few moments as if to prove a point._

"_Lovely, you've mastered the abilities of a two year old. Let's go."_

_They left the parking lot and headed down the street, back towards the area where Perry's apartment was. "There's no way I'm letting you drive like that. Give me your car keys," Perry said, holding his hand out as they walked._

"_Dr. Cox, I know you don't believe me, but I did get to the educational level where they taught us that driving while inebriated was stupid. Can I crash at your place?"_

"_Wow, Newbie, you are a comedic wit tonight!"_

"_Aw, come on! I don't take up much space!"_

"_But you take up too much to be stuffed in a shoebox, and if you can't fit in a shoebox, you're not coming inside."_

_JD's face had drooped into a pout, and he was giving Perry a look that tore the older man up inside. God damnit, it should be illegal to look that cute._

"_If Jordan isn't home, it means she decided to stay at her sister's house overnight. Then, and ONLY then, can you stay. Otherwise I'm taking your ass back home."_

"_Yaay!"_

"_If you start dancing, the deal is off."_

_JD shook his head. "No dancing, promise."_

_They turned the corner, and Perry directed JD into a small alleyway between two buildings on the left. "It's a shortcut," he explained after JD gave him a questioning look. "Don't worry, Fiona; I didn't take you over here to rape you. Your precious little maidenhood is safe."_

_They walked quietly through the alleyway, and Perry heard JD gulp as the light from the streetlamps on the corner began to get too far away to light their way. "It's only a little bit through this dark area. Need me to hold your hand, Lucy?" he teased._

_To his surprise, JD suddenly wrapped his arm around Perry's and drew in closer to him. "I hate the dark," he said, shivering slightly. "Normally I'm okay with it, but when I'm going into an enclosed area that I don't know anything about… I get a little freaked." He lowered his head, and Perry could even see in the darkness that his cheeks were tinged with red._

_The compassionate side of his brain overrode the side yelling at him to dropkick the kid, and Perry just sighed and continued walking. "If you touch any other part of my body, your death will be quick and painful," he warned. JD nodded, but kept his arm firmly wrapped around Perry's. The older man was a little surprised to find that having a warm body next to him won over any part of his brain still in protest._

_Turning the corner, they could both see the streetlights in the distance, only about two hundred feet or so away. Perry felt JD relax next to him, and was just about to tell the kid to release the arm he was wrapped around, before he felt something slam into the back of his head. In the next moment, he was on the ground, and there was weight on top of him, holding him down. A pair of hand's yanked his arms up behind his back, and Perry gritted his teeth as the socket twisted painfully in its joint. As he struggled to get whoever was on top of him off, his hair was grabbed and his head was yanked back, causing his face to turn upwards._

_There were two large men dressed in black and wearing ski masks. That was the entirety of detail that Perry noticed about them, because they were currently manhandling JD. The kid was giving Perry a terrified look as they men pinned his arms behind him and attempted to lift him off the ground. "Let him fucking go!" Perry shouted, thrashing on the ground. JD bucked and twisted, trying to get out of their grasp, but they were too strong, and kept a firm hold on him._

_Perry was about to scream at them again when he felt something bash into his head a second time. This time it was hard enough to knock him out. The last thing he remembered seeing was JD's eyes, frightened and imploring Perry to help him._


	2. Chapter 2

**(Chapter 2! Thanks to all who left some nice reviews for the first chapter, and even if you didn't leave one, thanks for at least reading :D This chapter will explain a little better about what the hell is going on; those of you confused by the first chapter will hopefully have everything cleared up. Cheers!)**

"JD!"

The first thing Perry noticed when he woke up was that he was not, in fact, in some darkened alleyway, but in his own bed, wearing nothing but his boxers. After his surroundings had checked out, he began to relax, until he heard grumbling from next to him.

"Perry, if I hear you call out that kid's name one more time in your sleep, I will rip your throat out."

Perry blushed angrily. Yeah right, like he called out the kid's name a lot in bed. Jordan was crazy and pretending he was gay so she didn't have to feel guilty about where there relationship was at the moment. Yeah, that made sense. Well, she could shove it. Perry had a good reason for calling JD's name out this time.

His heartbeat was slowly returning to normal, and he swung his legs out from the bed, standing up and walking into the bathroom. He flicked on the light switch, suddenly feeling nervous in the dark. The mirror showed his beleaguered and haggard appearance.

_It was only a dream_, he thought to himself, gripping the sides of the sink firmly. _You're fine. Newbie is fine. It was only a dream._

Who was he kidding; it was a nightmare. The way Newbie was looking at him, as if Perry wasn't trying his hardest to do something, _anything_, to get them out of that situation. Still, JD's eyes, almost accusatory in their nature, would haunt him for a while. He hoped that he'd be able to look at the kid without needing to avoid eye contact.

When he had fully calmed down, he went back to bed. As he crawled under the covers, he felt an aching in his right shoulder, and the dream sprang fresh into his mind. His eyes widened, and he gave a little gasp of realization.

It was a long time before he fell asleep again.

>>

Perry's arm was still aching when he woke up the next morning. Attributing the pain to having pulled the muscle while thrashing in his sleep, he ignored it and got ready, only stopping to speak to Jordan when absolutely necessary. By the time he was out the door, he'd managed to push the dream into the back of his brain, and drove to work in relative calm, humming happily to the music blasting from his radio. Yes, today was going to be a good day. He knew it.

He arrived at the hospital, and as he was stepping out of his car, spotted JD in the parking lot. There were two options at this point. He could run like a scared little girl to avoid JD and his annoyingly invasive eyes, or he could face up to them here and now. The question was decided when JD walked over, a half-hearted smile on his face.

"Morning, Dr. Cox."

"Morning, Newbie," he found himself replying. That was odd, no biting remark about not being able to deal with his voice this early in the morning? He'd have to make up for that at a later point.

"Uh, Dr. Cox, could I talk to you later about something? It's kinda important…"

"Sure, kid." Whoa, there that was again. What was with him this morning? Was he really THAT affected by a stupid dream?

Apparently, JD had the same idea as him, because his eyebrows were raised and he was giving Perry a look that said, 'who are you and what have you done with Perry Cox?'

"Stop ogling me, Charlene, let's go; we've got work to do," Perry snapped. Yeah, there we go, back to normal.

JD gave a nod and turned, walking into the hospital. Perry stood there for a moment, watching him go. He was so not checking the kid out though. His eyes were not on JD's ass as it disappeared around the corner and into the hospital. That was just plain crazy talk, and the voices in Perry's head really needed to shut up.

As he started to follow the kid, he realized happily that the entire time he'd been talking to JD, he'd kept eye contact, and not looked away or even thought about looking away once.

>>

"Now, Joanne, when you woke up this morning, didja add 'bashing open my kneecap' to your to-do list?"

"Dr. Cox, a pleasure as always."

The curly, long-haired redhead grinned cheekily at the doctor as he entered the exam room. Despite a clotting gash on her right knee, she still seemed to be in good spirits, bouncing a little in her jean-shorts and red tank top as she adjusted her seating on the exam bench. She'd placed a black helmet on the counter, and a skateboard rested on the floor in front of it.

Perry gave a sigh and brushed the side of his nose in annoyance. "So let's see what you tried this time," he announced, flipping open the chart. "Ah, tried to 'shred down the side of the giant ass steps in front of your college.' Really, how do you get the nurses to let you write up your own symptoms chart?"

"I think it's from knowing most of them," she chirped, giving him another smile. "They know by now that I won't tell them what I did unless I get to make it sound totally awesome on the paper."

Perry plopped his coffee cup onto the counter and dropped onto the rolling stool next to him, wheeling over to examine the girl. "If you're all done with injuring yourself for one day, let's take a look at that knee…"

They both looked up when the door swung open. JD leaned against the door jam, a chart clasped under his arm and a sickeningly happy smile on his face. "Dr. Cox, can I ask-"

"Can it Newbie, I'm with a patient," Perry said before he could finish. Newbie seemed to have gotten the idea stuck in his head that Perry would actually continue to act like he had in the parking lot, and Perry intended to change that.

JD frowned, ignoring Perry's blow off and trying again. "But Dr. Cox, I-"

"La-_hiss_-en here Clarice," Perry growled, snapping a pair of latex gloves on as he talked. "Though I'd love to answer your questions on whether you should go with the panties or the thong for your big date tonight- side note, nice job finally finding a guy who can put up with a gal like yourself- when I'm with a patient, your mouth stays shut. In fact, if anyone but you wants to talk to me, you lose your talking privileges."

Despite the long winded rant, Perry had managed to not only inspect Joanne's knee, but sterilize it and write out an order for her to receive three stitches. In fact, he had not looked up at JD once, instead making hand gestures at the kid.

"Damnit, Perry, would you-"

"Woa-ho-ho!" Perry yelped, yet again interrupting the kid. He crossed his arms and looked up at JD with a glare. "Since when did you get it in your little brain that you're allowed to call me that? I told you, 'the Big Cheese', or nothing. Got it? Now out."

They faced off silently for a moment, Perry's face twisted into bemusement, while JD seemed about ready to strangle him. Perry noted again with some satisfaction that he had no trouble looking JD in the eye. That problem was obviously solved.

Finally, JD threw up his hands and turned, storming out and slamming the door behind him.

"Oooo, Mary's got some attitude today, eh?" Perry said, looking over to gauge Joanne's reaction. He was a little surprised to see the girl staring a little wistfully after his Newbie. Not that he owned JD or anything; it was just annoying when people were paying attention to the kid and not Perry. "See something you like?" he teased as he reached for his coffee.

She turned to him and smiled, sighing slightly. "If he wasn't gay, I'd so tap that."

Perry managed to turn his face away from Joanne before he spit out the sip of coffee he'd taken, choking slightly as his body shook with laughter. "What?" the girl asked, peering at him in confusion. "What'd I say?"

Perry just shook his head and wiped the tears out of his eyes, struggling to stop cracking up. "It shouldn't be so funny for someone to call him gay" he gasped, giving another snort. "I mean, you'd really think it'd happen more often."

"What, he's not?"

"Shelly over there? No," Perry said, wiping coffee off of his chin. "He's been chasing various hospital nurses of the female variety ever since he's been here."

"Oh come on. He's at least bi. No man with that much hair care product can call himself straight." Perry grinned at the comment, mentally agreeing with her. "Plus, I have excellent gaydar, and he was giving off more waves than Rosie O'Donnell!"

Perry shook his head as he cleaned off the blood that had appeared since Joanne had first washed her knee off. "Sorry kiddo, but I've never heard him talk about anything having to do with that particular hobby. Though the Todd does seem to hang around him an awful lot…" What was up with that anyways? Why would anyone hang out with The Todd? He should be hanging out with somebody else. Not Perry of course, but somebody who didn't practically scream 'I'm a sex addicted moron!'

"Just because he doesn't mention it, doesn't mean it's true," she murmured, pulling out a piece of gum. "Hell, maybe he doesn't even realize it yet."

"Sure. Because it's really hard to notice when you get a hard-on for the Queer Eye boys."

"You'd be surprised," she said, chewing on the gum thoughtfully. "I know more people than you'd think who don't realize that they can bat for both teams." She raised her eyebrows pointedly at him.

"Oh no," he said, glaring at her and shaking his head. They were so not going there. The idea was absolutely ludicrous. "Nu uh. Nice try missy. Back to Newbie; don't you think that even if he didn't know, someone would figure it out and point it out to him?"

She rolled her eyes. "Since I've been in here, you've called him a girl, used only girl's names for him, and congratulated him for hooking up with a guy. Unless his parents were crazy enough to actually name him 'Newbie', you've yet to actually call him by his real name... by the way, what is it?"

"John Dorian." Wow; that felt odd coming out of his mouth. He liked the nickname JD better. In fact, JD wasn't half bad of a name to be called. It was interesting, like Perry's name. Not that he'd ever let JD _use_ his first name aloud in a million years.

"Hrm, pretty," she said, smiling slightly. Pretty? She must've obviously been crazy, to think 'John Dorian' sounded better than 'JD.' Of course, she didn't actually know his nickname, so that couldn't be helped.

"Anyway, if you're any indication of how people treat him, I'm guessing that the people who do know just won't admit it to him or to themselves."

"Well," said Perry, looking down at the chart and scribbling a few notes on it, "I'm the last person you want to be talking to about how most people treat Newbie, so no dice, sorry. You're all done here, go on over to the desk and the nurse will send you to get stitched up." He held out the chart for her to take.

She grabbed it from him, then hopped off the table and gathered up her things. "Well, want some advice?" she asked, pausing at the doorway to look at him.

"Not really." The last thing he needed from someone who liked the name 'John Dorian' was advice.

"Tough, you're getting it anyways. That guy is gay. So are you. You both look as sexually starved as beached whales. Plus, I could feel the sexual tension between you two when he came in, and the way you stared after him as he left leaves nothing to the imagination. Hook up." She gave him a wink and sauntered out the door.

Perry stared after her a moment before giving a forced laugh. "Very funny!" he called out, rolling over to the door. "Like I'm attracted to Newbie!"

Wow, how ridiculous could she get? Even if he was gay, Newbie would be the last guy on his list. _Hrm, scratch that, second to last. Bob-o is always last in your heart._

People who were out in the hallway turned to stare at Perry as he shouted out the door after his patient. He realized that having only heard the last line of the conversation, they must have been pretty confused at that moment. Well screw them; they could think what they wanted. The point was, he didn't like Newbie, and anybody who said otherwise was a moron, and probably also liked the name John Dorian, which was a stupid name, and didn't sound as good as JD did.

As if to prove that point, he gave anyone brave enough to make eye contact a dirty look before rolling back inside the room, shutting the door behind him.

Yeah, that'd show them.

>>

_Perry woke up to find his back pressed against a pane of glass, and realized as he opened his eyes that it was not just a pane of glass, but a large wall of thick glass that he was lying beside._

_The second thing he realized that there were, in fact, four of these glass walls, and they were surrounding him, encasing him in a box-like shape that was about six feet wide, ten feet long, and high enough so that when he looked up, all he could see was the top of the glass walls heading up into darkness. It was dark because the only light came from a hanging light bulb that was outside of the box, a few feet away. It spread a small pool of light around the area, but not enough to actually see where the room began and ended. Perry had a feeling that the room was huge, but being encased in a large glass box, he wasn't inclined to try and find out at that moment._

_The third thing he realized was that JD was not with him in the box. He was on the outside of it, slumped against the side of the glass with his back to Perry, and not moving._

_Perry sat up quickly, wincing as a pain shot through his arm, and crawled across the width of the rectangular box to press against the same wall that JD was against. He noted with anger that JD's hands were bound with a rope, and there was a crusted over scratch on the side of his cheek. "Kid, wake up," he said loudly, whacking his hands against the glass. "Come on, JD!" he shouted this time, smacking his fist right into the glass behind JD's head._

_Apparently, that was a good wakeup call, as JD twitched slightly and appeared to wake up. "Wha…" he said, turning his head sideways and spotting Perry. "Dr. Cox? What happened?"_

"_We were attacked," Perry murmured, sitting back on his heels. "See if you can untie your hands."_

_Only now did JD seem to realize he was bound, as his eyes popped open in surprise. He twisted his arms, wincing as they went into odd positions, and his eyes darted back and forth across the surfaces in the area, as if he was looking for something to use for cutting. There was nothing to be found, however, and after a few moments he slumped back against the glass again, turning his body until it faced sideways so he could look at Perry._

"_Where are we?"_

_Perry shook his head. "Don't know," he said, slowly getting to his feet. He stretched his body, working away the tension that had accumulated in his muscles, and did a complete 360 turn, trying to see into the blackness. "Wherever we are doesn't matter as much as getting out of here. Can you go and try to find a-"_

_Perry shut his mouth and stared as a slender, feminine figure stepped forwards into the light. She was clothed in the same black attire that the attackers from before had been, including a ski mask to hide her face. JD turned his head and saw the woman approaching. The way she moved, with a hand on her hip and forceful strides, cut a domineering figure, and Perry heard JD whimper slightly and saw him shrink back against the glass._

_Perry, on the other hand, was more worried about getting answers than being affected by her challenging stance. "Who are you?" he asked in a demanding tone. "Where are we? Why are we here? Can you at least untie the kid for me?" His voice grew louder with each question, and he said the last with a hint of scorn mixed in._

_The woman simply shook her head and continued walking forwards. "You've got no right to be demanding answers from me," she said, voice harsh and cutting. Perry recognized it instantly._

"_Jordan, get us the fuck out of here!" he yelled. "What the hell is this, some kind of sick joke? Untie JD and help me out of this thing!"_

_The woman stopped directly in front of JD and bend down, squatting before him. "We're going to play a little game," she murmured to him, smiling maniacally at him and running a hand down the side of his cheek. He shuddered at the touch and pulled away, giving another whimper. The woman laughed at this and stood, staring Perry directly in the eye._

"_You know why you're here Perry. You know why JD is here, and you know why I'm here. Just put the pieces together."_

_She bent again, this time grasping JD by the arms and swinging him around to face Perry. She began pulling him, shuffling back slowly and dragging him away from the box. JD thrashed, crying out as Perry saw his arm twist into a painful position. "CUT THIS OUT JORDAN!" Perry roared, slamming his fists against the box. "CUT THIS THE FUCK OUT!" He continued to beat against the glass, watching helplessly as JD was dragged away._

"_Dr. Cox, help me, please!" JD's cries drove Perry to slam himself against the glass repeatedly, crying out in rage each time the wall refused to crack. He tried again and again, but it was no use. Defeated, he slumped against the glass, watching JD continue to squirm as the woman dragged him farther away; closer to the edge of the darkness. He was no match for her strength; despite her slim figure, she was obviously quite powerful. "Perry!" he cried this time, tears of fright beginning to fall from his eyes. "Please, do something!" His eyes tore into Perry's soul, wrenching it asunder each time JD moved away a bit more._

"_I… I'm sorry kid," Perry murmured, leaning his forehead against the glass and shutting his eyes so he didn't have to watch this happen. JD's cries continued to hit his ears, but slowly they faded away, until there was silence. Perry opened his eyes, and there was no one to be found._

_Tired and feeling helpless, Perry slumped down against the glass, slamming a fist into it in frustration. He was beginning to feel light-headed, and swayed in his seat, fighting to keep awake. In the end, his exhaustion overtook him, and he faded once more into blackness._


	3. Chapter 3

**(Okay, yeah, you all can smack me for not getting this up yesterday. Sorry, busy day yesterday; by the time I remembered that I was supposed to update, my brain had sort of switched off. Anyways, thanks again for all the comments; I'm glad to see that you're all enjoying this. Feel free to leave me concrit (concrete criticism) as well if you so desire; I'm always up for improvements. Despite my stupidity, the Saturday update schedule seems reasonable enough, and since this chapter is a bit late, it means you won't have to wait so long for the next ;D)**

Perry didn't shout when he woke up this time. Instead, he awoke to the silence of his own bedroom, which was quieter than the night before. He attributed the silence to the absence of Jordan's light snoring; she'd gotten so fed up that she'd taken Jack and gone to her mother's house for the weekend. If only she'd gone the night before, he mused, she would've missed his spectacular sleep-speaking habits.

He didn't get out of bed this time, and instead rolled over, looking out the window and into the Californian night sky. A sequel to his dream, he hadn't expected that. Usually his dreams were isolated incidents, but apparently his brain liked torturing him, because that was what these dreams were to him.

Was his brain trying to tell him something? Was Jordan going to hurt JD or something like that? Perry doubted that Jordan would go to that extreme to get what she wanted, and besides, what could she want from JD? It's not like he was threatening to her in any way…

_Would she hurt JD to get back at me?_, he thought to himself. No, that was just stupid, wasn't it? He was JD's… _just say it, __mentor_… and that wasn't anything to feel threatened by. So how could she feel threatened by JD?

He rolled over again, this time staring at the wall. JD's cries for help were still haunting him, and he felt guilt ridden for not being able to help. _It was only a damned dream!_, he thought to himself, smacking his forehead. Besides, it wasn't like he was _trying_ to hurt JD. He was attempting to save him, for fuck's sake! So why did it seem like he was to blame for what was happening to JD? Why were JD's eyes so accusatory?

That was the second night that Perry had trouble falling asleep, and it was worse than the night before.

>>

The next day saw Perry heading to work on four hours of sleep, and that was a scary thing indeed. Cranky, insomniac Perry made even Kelso hide for most of the day, and everyone with a brain kept out of his way as he shuffled down the hall, snapping orders to people and stealing people's coffee randomly out of their hands. They all knew not to complain, and he was happy to note that no one dared shoot him a dirty look all morning.

Even JD was smart enough to keep away. Or maybe, Perry mused, he was still pissed off at the other doctor. Either option suited Perry just fine, because it meant getting to go a whole morning without the kid appearing behind him every two seconds to ask another nagging, annoying question. So by the time his break rolled around, Perry was slightly tolerable to the world.

Everyone knew his break time for that day, and was therefore clear away from the lounge during that period. Everyone, Perry noted, except JD. He saw the man flopped on the couch as he entered, channel turned to a cartoon show. _Tsk tsk Newbie, to be killed while watching _Sponge Bob_. Not a good cliché in sight for that death._

"Hookay, did you not get the memo? Because it clearly stated that everyone was to avoid pissing me off until at least two, and you've managed to be about three hours early from that mark. Good job. Now either move or prepare to be destroyed." By this time, he'd moved from the doorway and was standing in front of JD, blocking his view to the television.

Apparently, JD had grown a pair, because he ignored Perry, staring- if it was possible- _through_ Perry and to the television set. Perry swiped at the side of his nose angrily. _Today was so not the day for you to play 'I'm a big girl now.'_

"So you've decided to become mute before you die? Really, it's a good change, I'm all for it. In fact, if you weren't the giant obstacle right now between me and my soaps, I might be doing one of your little dorky dances."

No response. What the fuck? Every other person in the hospital would be cringing by now, but JD kept intently staring at Perry's face level, without actually staring at his face, and seemed to be actively attempting to listen to the show. In the silence, JD chuckled a few times at random jokes, and Perry could swear his eyes were following the characters.

Oh, he was so dead.

"Damnit, Newbie!" Perry shouted, breaking the silence. He was fuming now, and the strength of his voice actually caused JD to jump slightly and finally focus on him. "Stop acting like a bratty teenager and listen to me!"

"If anyone is acting immaturely, it's you," JD said quietly.

Time stood still. The earth stopped rotating. JD had openly defied Perry Cox, and even death threats were no effect. Perry wondered for a moment if the space time continuum had somehow torn when he wasn't looking, and if he had been somehow thrust into an alternate dimension. Maybe one where Jordan was as sweet as Elliot, or where Bob Kelso gave out kittens, or where Ted had a full head of hair. Whatever new dimension this was, Perry did not like it. So he did the only thing he could think of.

He stormed out.

Sure, it wasn't exactly the apocalyptic end to JD that he'd threatened, but by god, if JD was going to go and be randomly out of character, then Perry was going to as well. Maybe he'd actually pay attention now.

It took all of Perry's strength not to go back in there and throttle JD. In fact, he had to go into a storage closet and use a broom handle as a substitute. This created a very awkward position when the janitor walked in on him, but even the janitor knew not to mess with Perry today, and it only took a twenty dollar bribe to keep this incident under wraps.

Finally, when he was calm enough to function without swiping the side of his nose every three seconds, he decided to go back into the lounge and defeat this 'new JD' menace once and for all. There would be explosions, light saber battles, crazy car chases… and now he was starting to daydream like JD again. Damnit.

By the time he focused again, his feet had taken him to the lounge door. He peered through the window, but instead of picking out the item he would use to bludgeon JD to death, his eyes opened in surprise when he saw the man he was looking for.

JD was crying. What the hell? Perry had never made JD cry before, at least, not in public. Then again, he didn't realize that he was being watched, so technically, this could be a normal ritual for him. He could've disturbed JD's… crying time. This wasn't Perry's usual break time anyway, so for all he knew, everybody else knew to leave JD alone when times like this came around.

He watched silently as JD brushed away tears, face contorted into miserable pain. No, this wasn't some ritualized catharsis that JD did daily or weekly. This had a definite purpose, Perry was sure of that. What could this possibly be about?

_You know what this is about, you idiot_, Perry thought to himself. _This is about your inability to give a shit about anyone else, so you end up taking your anger out on the poor kid._ But surely he'd yelled at Newbie worse than this before? Wha…

It hit Perry like a brick wall. JD had asked him if they could talk about something. Obviously, Perry mused, it was affecting the kid enough to warrant an overreaction to one of Perry's rants. Well, tough. Perry wasn't going to feel guilty about making the kid cry; not if it was only partially his fault.

His emotions said otherwise, as he felt his annoyance wane slightly into… good god, he was actually sympathizing with the kid. What the hell was wrong with him?

Perry decided to leave before he turned into a sobbing mess of guilt ridden goop. However, it took him a few minutes before he could tear himself away from JD silently sobbing in the other room. And if his pager hadn't decided to vibrate just then, Perry had a feeling he might've opened that door and let the kid see a different side of Perry Cox than the one he'd shown moments before.

_>> _

_The first thing he heard when he woke up was the sound of screaming. Horrible, horrible screaming._

_Perry covered his ears, moaning and trying to block out the sounds coming out of the darkness. What made it worse was that he recognized the voice._

_It was JD's. No doubt about it, the kid was in pain, and that was causing Perry's brain to go into full on panic mode. He sat up slowly, opening his eyes and looking around. Again, there was nothing to see but the ceiling lamp swinging back and forth like a pendulum. Perry once again cursed the glass box he was trapped inside, thinking for a moment that this must be what animals at a zoo or pet store felt like._

_The screams continued, and Perry began slamming his fists against the glass, desperate for them to stop. He began to match them in tone and volume, hoping to block them out or maybe get JD to hear him and somehow be reassured that he at least shared some of the pain. Of course, he couldn't exactly say he was in as much pain as the kid had to have been at the moment._

_Eventually, it became too much, and Perry curled into a ball, covering his ears once more. He began to hum to himself, vibrations echoing in his eardrums, but nothing worked. He was just about to begin banging his head against the glass when the screaming stopped._

_The silence, he reflected, might've been worse than the screaming. He wondered what it meant. Was JD gagged now? Unconscious? Dead? He refused to think about the last one, instead hoping that they'd just stopped torturing the poor kid._

_Apparently, he'd gotten his wish, as he heard a sliding sound, and the woman from before walked into the light, dragging a rope behind her. It ended, tied around JD's waist, and she dragged him to the center of the pool of light, letting him rest there, clearly unconscious, but, to Perry's relief, still breathing. There was a gash on his right cheek, slashed over the cut from before, and then Perry realized that his right leg was in an awkward position. "You broke his fucking leg!" he shouted, standing up and glaring at the woman in the most disgusted, angry face he could conjure. She said nothing, only stared back._

"_How the fuck could you do that to him, Jordan?" he asked, voice dropping to desperation. "What did he ever do to you? How could you hurt him like that… why?"_

_There was silence, and she walked off, back into the blackness._

_Perry dropped to his knees, grasping his face in his hands and sobbing into them. "What the fuck is going on?" he whispered to himself, leaning back against the glass. "Why is this happening?"_

_He calmed himself down enough to look over to JD, who was still unconscious. "JD!" he called out. There was no response. "JD!" he yelled, louder than before. Again, nothing._

"_NEWBIE?!"_

_Perry sighed with relief when a groan escaped his protégé's lips. Slowly, JD's eyes opened, filled with apprehension at first. When he saw Perry, however, he gave the older man a slight smile, croaking "Hey, Dr. Cox," from parched lips. He coughed, and then winced._

"_Kid… I'm sorry." Perry stared at JD, eyes as sad and worn as the other man's. "I feel like somehow this is my fault. If I hadn't wanted to take that damned shortcut… and now…" He pressed a hand to his forehead, cursing every god he could think of. It didn't matter if they were real or not, it was all of their faults anyways._

"_It's ok Dr. Cox." JD began coughing again, but continued speaking when his body had calmed down. "I understand. If I need to get hurt, it's only because it'll help you in the end, right?"_

_Perry's head shot up, eyes filled with confusion. "What are you talking about, Newbie?" he asked. "How will it help me?"_

_JD only smiled. As Perry watched, he closed his eyes, and slipped back into unconsciousness. "Newbie? NEWBIE!" Perry lunged forwards, slamming his fists back and forth into the glass. "DAMNIT, NEWBIE, ANSWER ME! TELL ME WHAT YOU MEAN!"_

_The only response was the hanging silence in the air. Perry blacked out long before he'd used up the last of his strength against the glass wall, fading back into the blackness; the picture of the broken JD burned into the back of his skull._

>>

Perry was getting tired of this.

When he woke up this time, the first thing he did was get out of bed and grab a glass of scotch. He didn't care if it wouldn't help, people should always have a soothing drink after a nightmare, and considering his nightmares, Perry wished he could drown in a bottle of the stuff. Stupid work in the morning.

It might've been one in the morning, but that didn't stop Perry Cox from picking up the phone and dialing JD's cell phone. He paced anxiously as the ringer came on, and was just about to leave a message, when the prerecorded female voice stopped, and a groggy, male one started.

"Dr. Cox?"

"Newbie, good. You're up."

"Up…? What the fuck? It's one in the morning. Why the hell are you calling me now?"

"I need to talk to you."

"AT ONE IN THE GODDAMNED MORNING?"

Ok, he was definitely awake now. Perry didn't feel like arguing however, so he decided to change the tone to a serious one.

"I'm… worried."

"…oh."

Now JD was listening. Perry noted with amusement that the kid could go from raging angry, to slightly concerned but calm, in all of three seconds.

"Aren't you even going to ask what about?"

"Well, what about?"

"… you."

Perry wondered if the universe could take two breaches of the natural order in one day. Perry Cox, worried about another human being? It was inconceivable. Of course, Wallace Shawn had uttered those same words in _The Princess Bride_, and look what happened to him. But Perry was worried less about a duel of intelligence to the death at that moment, and more about the person he was currently on the phone with.

"Dr. Cox, if this is a joke, I'll… well, I'll do something to annoy you. Really, really badly."

"It's not." Perry heard himself utter the words in complete seriousness, and for the first time, realized what he was doing. The fact that he didn't mind that he was opening up made his brain do a double-take, but he pressed onwards. "You haven't been yourself lately. Yeah, I know I can be an ass, but not enough to get you to…" Perry was walking a thin line now. He could reveal that he'd seen JD crying, but would JD get mad and hang up, or actually listen to him?

He decided to take a chance. "… to get you to cry."

The line was silent for a moment, and Perry was afraid that JD had hung up. His fears were calmed, however, when JD spoke again. "So you saw that, huh?"

"You, blubbering on yourself? Kind of hard to miss."

"You were looking through the doorway."

"Huh? How'd you know?"

Perry thought he could _hear_ JD blushing. "I, um, saw you come up to the door out of the corner of my eye. I didn't want to scare you away though."

"You tell anyone about this-"

"-and my death will be quick and painful, got that." JD gave a little chuckle, and Perry was surprised to find himself laughing along with the kid. Hey, he was tired, and it was early in the morning. It wasn't because JD was actually funny or anything, or that his giggle made Perry's stomach jump a little. Nope, those were total coincidences.

"So let me cut to the chase. You wanted to talk about something? There's a bar, Murphy's, down the street from my house. We could walk down there, have a few beers, maybe find a cute guy for you to go home with." Perry was pleased to hear JD laugh at this. "What do you say?"

"Sure, Dr. Cox. I'll go on a date with you."

Perry's eyes widened, but when he heard JD laughing over the phone, he calmed down, pushing away the feelings welling up in his throat. "In your dreams, Newbie," he said. "Now get some sleep."

"Goodnight, Dr. Cox."

"Night, Newbie. Oh, by the way, do me a favor."

"What's that?"

"Promise me you'll never go into darkened alleyways alone?"

"Uh…"

"Yeah I know, weird request: just do it, okay?" Perry waited, hoping JD would take him seriously.

"Alright."

**(Note: Wallace Shawn played Vizzini in the film version of _The Princess Bride_. Great book, highly recommend you read it, and the movie is still my favorite movie of all time. If the little joke there threw you for a loop, go Wiki the film to see what the hell Perry was talking about :D)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**(Yes, I'm back. Yes, I totally suck for slipping off my updates. Hate me. Now enjoy the fic :P Comments and Concrit welcomed)**

Perry could imagine many people occupying the lounge when he walked in the next day. Nervous Guy could be begging residents to help him with his patients. Elliot could be going on about whatever she usually said; Perry just put up a mental wall whenever he was around her, and like the glass from his dreams, it never broke. Turk and Carla could be making gross displays of their teddy bear love; Perry liked to do his Mystery Science Theater 3000 impression during these times, where he'd make snide comments and loud, annoying whooping noises.

What he did not expect was an empty lounge, cleared out of fear of the singular woman pacing inside of it. Jordan turned to him, face clenched in an angry, murderous glare, and even Perry was slightly scared now. What the hell could she possibly want?

"You cheating, fucking whore."

Well that was unexpected. "What are you talking about?" Perry asked nonchalantly, walking over to the couch and flopping down. Maybe he should try what JD had done yesterday. The problem was -and this was where Perry got a little annoyed at himself- Jordan was perfectly willing to rip him a new one. Perry couldn't say the same when it came to his relationship with JD.

"I knew you were up to something, I fucking knew it. You didn't want to spend time here treating patients! You wanted to fuck your newest sex toy!"

"Jordan, the fact that you could even think that just makes me wonder what the hell you're on right now."

"I'm more sober than you'll ever be, Perry," she shot back, placing her hands squarely on her hips. _Uh oh, she's gone into her 'angry' stance. She's really pissed._

"Jordan, even if I felt the need to have more sex than the zero times a week we get it in, how the hell would I find the time to do it?"

"I already told you," she said exasperatedly, as if the answer was clear in front of his face. "You'd have an easy time of it if the person was already here…" To Perry's surprise, her face morphed from anger to an evil, pleased grin in about five seconds flat. _Oh fuck, she did something._

"What did you do, Jordan?"

"What ever do you mean, Perry?" He wasn't buying the innocent act.

"Whenever you get that look on your face, I know you've done something I'm going to regret."

"Nothing really. I just told your boyfriend that he was a horrible home wreaker and that you should both die painful deaths."

"Boyfr- JORDAN!" he yelled, eyes bloodshot. "YOU THINK I'M GAY?"

Oh, thank God they were alone right now. Anyone in the vicinity would've been killed by the sheer force of rage emanating off of both persons in the room.

"Well, considering I told off your BOYFRIEND, yeah, I think you're gay, or at least bisexual. Seriously Perry, how could you be such a horrible bastard as to lead me on all this time? If you'd told me at the beginning of our relationship, I would've been fine wi-"

Perry had stopped listening. It all made sense now. He'd seen JD in the changing room this morning, eyes puffy and worn, and for a moment had wondered if their conversation last night had been responsible for it. But now he realized…

"You think JD and I are a couple."

There was silence. Jordan seemed to realize just how mad Perry was at that moment, because she'd stopped talking all together, preferring to use a defiant stance to defend herself.

"You went to him this morning and fucking accused him of being my fuck buddy? How dare you. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU." If Perry wasn't so angry, he would've found humor in the clichéd line of dialogue.

"He deserved it, he-"

"That kid has nothing to do with us. I've been trying to figure out all week what's wrong with him, and now I finally get it. Good God, Jordan, he's my student, not my hooker! Are you so jealous and possessive that you can't deal with that? Oh my God, Newbie, what the fuck…" He groaned and dropped his head to his hands.

"It doesn't matter anyway Perry." Jordan's voice was slightly filled with guilt, but she wasn't giving up. "We're through. It's not working out. We should've realized before we started this up again just what a disaster it would be. I'm moving out. And as for JD…" He looked up to see her staring at him with a coaxing expression. "If you two weren't a couple before, then you both need to pull your heads out of your asses and realize that you're perfect for each other."

She left quietly, and Perry slumped onto the couch, giving another groan to the empty silence. Christ, this was turning into a mess. Jordan has probably been on JD's case for a while, accusing him of all this crap. And what could JD do? She was Perry's 'live-in-ex;' complaining to him about her wasn't a real option.

_Well, all the chips are on the table_, Perry thought to himself, rubbing his face with his hands. If Newbie wanted to talk about this with him, then damnit, Perry would be up front about allowing it. It was the least the kid deserved for putting up with Jordan for that long.

>>

"Two beers."

The bartender nodded and walked off, leaving JD and Perry alone, seated next to each other at the bar. There was a momentary silence, and then JD spoke. "So, did you see that Mr. Flenderson's cha-"

"Newbie," Cox interrupted, turning his head to face the other man, "let's get one thing straight. We are not here to talk about work. We are here to talk about whatever is bothering you, to get drunk, and to try and pick up women. That is all. Got it?" JD nodded slowly. "Good. Now, I had an interesting chat with Jordan this morning…"

JD listened intently, hissing at all the appropriate parts and nodding to each new revelation. "So she told me what she did to you, and I've gotta say, Newbie, I'm surprised that you managed to keep your mouth shut about it for so long." JD's eyebrows raised; it seemed he was confused. "She's been hassling you all week, and you don't talk about it till now?"

"Dr. Cox, she only yelled at me this morning."

"…oh. Well… then I'm still confused."

JD grinned. "That happens to me a lot," he said, winking at Perry. The other man grinned back slightly.

"So wait, then why have you been pissy all this week?"

JD's face drooped slightly, and his eyes wandered away. "Eh, it's nothing really…"

"Newbie, I did not come out to a bar with you to get brushed off like a cheap date. Start talking."

"Well…" There were a few moments of JD brushing the back of his neck in embarrassment, and Perry wiping the side of his nose in annoyance, before JD spoke again. "I'm kind of… in love with someone."

Perry was surprised, but needed more information to make any judgments. "Go on," he said, slightly nervous for some reason. Why was he nervous? What did he have to be nervous about? More importantly, where was his beer?

"Well, I love them a lot, and I sort of resigned myself this week to the fact that they'll never love me back in that way."

Oh, so it was _unrequited _love! Now that made much more sense. Perry nodded in understanding, he'd been there a few times, though he'd realized later that it wasn't love, so much as really needing to get laid. Hopefully JD would realize the same.

"Well," said Perry, trying to be encouraging, "don't give up hope. Ya never know."

JD nodded sadly; he obviously wasn't convinced. "Ah, here are our drinks," he said, changing the subject as the bartender returned with their beers. "Cheers," he said, holding out the bottle. Perry clinked his own against it and sipped, letting the cold liquid wash down his throat. He was paying less attention to the beer, however, and more to JD's expression, which was still pretty down. Hopefully a few more beers would change that.

>>

Perry could sometimes amaze himself by how many beers he could actually drink in an hour. It wasn't enough to really get drunk, but he was definitely feeling pretty happy, and he had a feeling JD was as well. They left the bar early in the night, since both had work tomorrow and wanted to avoid bad hangovers. JD, Perry mused, was not as big of a lightweight as he was in Perry's dream, but he still was a lot tipsier than Perry.

They walked quietly down the street, enjoying the view around them. Perry had to admit, he'd had fun; he never expected Newbie to be that entertaining. When you got a few beers into him, he loosened up and stopped being such a whiny little girl. Though he morphed not into a dude, but into a manly girl, as Perry could swear he'd been flirting with a guy in the next seat over for a few minutes. Perry would never speak of the emotions he had felt as he watched the two make googly eyes at each other. The feelings were proof of nothing, of course. Nothing at all.

"Gah, it'll take us another twenty minutes if we go around, let's take that shortcut."

Perry stopped dead in his tracks. "Wha… how do you know about the shortcut?"

"We went through there one time, remember? When Turk and I were following you around on Jordan's orders, and you caught us taking a pee break back there. Pretty fun night," he said, giggling. "Come on!" He turned and headed towards the alleyway, which was just a block ahead, on the left.

"Hey, moron, stop!" Perry said, grasping JD by the shoulder as he started to move forwards. "Did I not tell you not to go into alleyways alone?" His face was serious, and JD attempted to match his expression before bursting into giggles.

"But I'm not alone! I've got you with me! Come on, Dr. Cox," JD said, smiling at him. "You can play Mr. Knight In Shining Armor, and I'll be the damsel in distress. Tally ho!"

Perry just sighed and followed him.

They headed into the alleyway, and Perry felt like he was stepping into a nightmare. Hell, technically he was. This time, however, JD didn't grasp his arm in fear. Instead, he marched forwards confidently, with Perry hovering around him like a mother hen. After almost causing JD to trip over him for the third time, the younger man stopped walking.

"You know, Dr. Cox, I thought Ted was paranoid, but you're taking the cake tonight. Seriously, why are you so tense?"

Perry fought away the red tinges that were surely creeping onto his cheeks. Damn JD and his isolated instances of intelligence. "Sorry," Perry mumbled. "Guess I'm just a little out of it."

"Aw, don't be sorry," JD replied, smiling up at him. "It's kind of cute."

Wow. The kid was definitely tipsy. No heterosexual male in their right mind would ever call another man cute. Perry ignored the memories of his spunky redheaded patient and her gaydar. That had absolutely nothing to do with this, in the least bit. "Now listen here Amanda," Perry started. "No self respecting hetero-"

JD would never find out what 'no self respecting hetero' would do, because at that instant, something loud slammed somewhere nearby, and in the next moment, Perry had lunged to the side, grabbing JD and slamming him against the wall, with Perry leaning against his front and gripping his shoulders. "Dr. Cox, what the fuck?" JD asked, squirming slightly. "Why are you so jumpy? What is wrong with you?"

Perry looked up at him, breath returning to normal levels. "I.. I'm not sure."

"…oh."

That word had been used in that certain context too often recently for Perry's liking. It always lead up to uncomfortable silences, and that was definitely what this was turning into now. Perry was pressed against JD's chest, face only a few inches from the other man's, and they were staring at each other; JD's eyes filled with confusion, and Perry's contemplating the situation.

"…why haven't you moved away yet?"

Perry answered as he fought against the feelings that were bubbling up inside his chest. "I don't know." He reached up, keeping eye contact with JD, and brushing a lock of hair away from the side of JD's face, causing the other man to shiver slightly.

This was not good, not good at all. Stupid emotions, why were they plaguing him like this? Why couldn't they just have stayed buried? He had to get out of this, he had to run, pretend this never happened, turn the situation around…

"Perry?"

Oh, fuck it. JD's eyes were filled with the same apprehension and fear that he'd held in this alley in the dream, and this time, Perry knew he could fix that.

He leaned forwards, brushing his lips tentatively against JD's, who sucked in a breath of astonishment. Pulling back, he searched JD's eyes again, and still found them fearful, but this time, there was hope.

"Why did you do that?"

"I thought you were smart, Newbie. You should get by now that I have no idea what I'm doing." He leaned forwards again, drawing JD into a deeper kiss to shut him up. JD whimpered a little as Perry practically forced his tongue into JD's mouth and moved his hands, raising them to cup JD's head and pull him closer.

JD's response came quickly, and he kissed back, pushing himself against Perry's chest and wrapping his arms around the other man's waist. Perry groaned in appreciation as JD sucked a little on his tongue, and pulled away slightly afterwards, chewing gently on JD's lower lip before moving back in for another kiss.

The back alley was quiet, except for the sounds of their mouths meeting in tandem. Perry reflected while he kissed JD that if it took scary nightmares to get them this far, he'd have to stop pussyfooting around the issue of taking it even further, or risk another sleepless week.

When they broke apart, panting, there were no words spoken. Perry was too wrapped up in his own thoughts, and had a feeling that JD was doing the same. They walked back to Perry's apartment in silence, and by this time, JD had sobered up enough to drive home without Perry worrying. As JD moved to walk towards the driver's door of his car, Perry grasped him around the waist again and drew him back in for one more kiss. This time, when they broke apart, Perry stepped away and turned, walking up the steps of his apartment. He stopped at the top and looked back, watching JD drive away.

Perry couldn't get to sleep for a long time that night. The last words he said to JD that night were swirling in his head. _You should get by now that I have no idea what I'm doing._

>>_  
_

_If he ever got out of here, Perry mused as he awoke, he needed to get checked out for a concussion. There was no logical reason that he kept fainting in and out of consciousness. He wasn't the one having this shit beat out of him. Speaking of which…_

_Perry opened his eyes to see that there was no one outside of the box, and was just about to call out for JD when he realized that there was someone inside the box with him. Turning, he gasped when he spotted a prostrate JD lying on the floor. Perry quickly moved over to him, rolling him onto his back and peering down at him._

_JD's breathing was shallow but steady. The gash on his cheek was starting to clot, but he sported a new black eye and a round burn mark on the side of his arm. There was also a shallow gash on his left arm, and this was bleeding more profusely than the other one. The broken leg was still, of course, broken and flopping about uselessly. Perry moved it slowly, adjusting it into a position he hoped would be more comfortable for the kid, and his brain worked to calculate a way to set it in a splint as he pulled off his shirt._

_He tore into the clothing, ripping a band off the arm and using it to wrap around the gashes on JD's cheek and arm. There was so much blood, streaked on the kid's clothing; red splatters that stood out sharply on his light blue shirt. Perry wiped away at streak that had somehow gotten onto JD's forehead. Damnit, the kid didn't deserve this._

_Perry shrugged his half destroyed shirt back on, and rolled JD onto his side. Now it was time to figure out how to untie the kid. He searched his own pocket, and finding that he still had his house key, began scraping it against the rope, which looked similar in dimension to a clothesline. The white fabric slowly began to fray as Perry worked, scraping and pulling against it, his face framed with a look of determination._

_He breathed a sigh of relief when the cord finally snapped, and JD was released. Apparently, good things came in double doses, because this was also the time that JD decided to wake up. "Perry?" he croaked, opening his eyes and rolling back onto his back._

_Perry leaned over him, giving him an encouraging smile. "Hey, kid," he said, stroking JD's hair out of his eyes. "How are you feeling?"_

"_How do you think?" Perry chuckled at JD's comment; at least the kid still had his humor. "Other than the obvious, my neck is hurting. That's the least of my problems though, right?" He gave Perry a weak smile and pulled his head up slightly, rolling it a few times._

"_Here, I can at least help with that." Perry moved JD slowly, until he was lengthwise in the box, giving Perry enough room to sit behind his head and move it into his own lap. "Better?" he asked, looking down at JD. The kid gave a contented sigh and nodded, closing his eyes._

_They were quiet for a few moments. Perry absentmindedly stroked JD's hair, his mind wandering to far corners and methodically working to think of an escape plan. After a minute or so, JD spoke._

"_Dr. Cox? When are they going to stop?"_

_He wanted to answer the kid, to tell him that no one was going to hurt him again and that Perry would make sure of it. He knew though, that he couldn't make any promises. "I don't know," he said finally, looking down sadly at JD. "I just don't. But I promise that I'll try to get us out of here before they've got another chance, alright?"_

_JD nodded up at him, eyes brightening slightly. "I know you'll try. I trust you; completely." Seeing his expression tore at Perry's heartstrings. The kid looked so hopeful, as if Perry's words were magical and prevented anything bad from ever happening again._

"_You shouldn't be so trusting," Perry sighed, looking away. "Especially of me; I don't deserve that type of trust. I got us into this damned mess"-he'd resigned himself to that fact, which was based more on his feelings than any concrete proof-"and I don't know how I'll get us out."_

"_I don't care. You… you always know what to do." Perry shot him a pained look, but JD shook his head. "I mean it. You always figure something out. Even if you don't know what to do right now; you always eventually realize exactly what has to be done. All you have to do is think."_

"_So that's all you expect me to do right now? Think?" Good god, it seemed like such a small request, but Perry wasn't sure if he could even do this small thing for the kid. Still though, as JD gave him a hopeful nod, he knew he had to try._

_His thoughts were cut short, however, when the woman once again appeared, stepping out of the shadows like a demonic hell hound and walking over to the box. Perry growled, glaring at her and placing a protective hand on JD's shoulder._

"_Are you tired of these games?" she asked in an exasperated voice. Her tone cut through Perry like a knife. Games? Is that what she thought these were? Fucking games? What type of sadistic bitch was she?_

_Perry didn't know if he'd ever been this angry in his life. "Why the HELL are you doing this, Jordan," he roared, gripping JD's shoulder harder and making him whimper slightly. "How the fuck could you call this a game?"_

_She gave another sigh, and the next words out of her mouth were not ones that Perry expected. "My name is not Jordan," she said, rolling her eyes._

"_What the fuck are you talking about Jordan? You can cover yourself up, but you can't hide how your voice sounds. I know it's you."_

"_You're in denial Perry," she spat out at him. "You just can't see the truth." She reached her hand up, gripping the side of the ski mask, and as Perry watched, yanked it up and off of her face._

_And then Perry was looking in a mirror, because the face under the mask wasn't Jordan's, it was his own. 'Perry' stood across from him, a maniacal grin on his face, and Perry was sure that he was going crazy. "Wh-what are you?" he croaked, eyes wide in shock._

'_Perry' stepped forwards with forceful strides, and Perry shrunk back, pulling JD with him until he was clutching the kid around his waist and leaning him up against Perry's chest. "I'll let you figure that out yourself," crooned the demon, eyes dancing with mirth. "Look inside yourself, Perry, you've got all the answers, you just need to unlock them."_

_Before Perry could speak again, his clone strode off, leaving the two men alone once more. Perry squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back tears of exhaustion and hopelessness. This was insane. Obviously he was going crazy. It was the only explanation for why his head was sitting on Jordan's body. Most people found them intolerable separately, but a Perry and Jordan mix? Good god, it was a nightmare._

"_Please, Dr. Cox…" Perry looked down as JD began to speak again. "Figure this out." His eyes were filled once more with fear. Perry wanted the naïve hopeful look back._

"_I'll try. Get some sleep, kid."_

_JD yawned in reply and settled against Perry's chest, his back dipping into Perry's lap. The warmth he gave off was comforting; it focused Perry's thoughts away from morbidity and onto figuring out the problem at hand. He soon heard JD's light snores, and found that his own eye lids were drooping. Despite his best attempts, he slipped into sleep, the answer to their problem still unknown._


	5. Chapter 5

**(Greetings from lovely Canada! This is the last Chapter of His Nightmares. I hope you've all enjoyed this piece; I certainly had a blast writing it. Concrit and comments welcome! Look for more stuff from me soon!)**

For the first time in four days, Perry woke up with his alarm clock buzzing in his ear. He flopped his hand onto the snooze button, and drew back under the covers, head swimming with thoughts.

Today was going to be an interesting day. Perry was torn between eagerness to explore whatever had happened with JD, and hesitance at trying anything when his situation with Jordan was so rocky. Despite her ultimatum, Perry knew Jordan had a way of reversing her ideas about situations like this. Therefore, as he drove to work that morning, Perry resolved that he'd keep Jordan on the table, but JD was still currently topping his list of interest at the moment. Speaking of the doctor…

Perry pulled into the parking lot to see JD getting off his bike, giant ass helmet in tow. He smirked and pulled into the parking space next to the bike rack, getting a questioning look from JD as he stepped out of his car. "Follow," said Perry, jerking a finger behind him. He turned and walked into the hospital, JD ambling up behind him.

Perry led JD to the locker room, which was thankfully empty, though he knew that could change quickly. So when JD stepped inside, he grabbed the kid by the waist and pulled him against a locker, growling slightly and pressing a kiss to his lips. JD gave a little moan as Perry began planting kisses down his neck, enjoying the way the younger man squirmed under him. He was about to reach for the bottom of JD's scrubs shirt when he felt a hand on his wrist, stopping his movements.

Perry pulled back to see JD's face set in determination. "Newbie?" he asked, a little confused. JD shook his head, signaling that he wanted to speak.

"Dr. Cox, I-"

"Damnit kid, when I've got my hands in this position, you will not refer to me as that."

"The Big Cheese?"

Perry sighed. "Just… Perry. I feel like I'm in a bad porno when you call me 'Doctor' while I'm making out with your neck."

JD blushed slightly but continued. "Perry, I really want this. I really do. But I can't come between you and Jordan."

"Newbie, Jordan is so not on my mind right now. Farthest thing from it."

"Yeah," said JD, looking down, eyes betraying his discomfort. "But I know you two. You go off into other relationships, but end up making up and playing nice for a little while before the cycle starts again. I…" he hesitated, looking up at Perry. "I don't want to be in the middle of that. I can't deal with that emotional roller coaster. You need to quit Jordan, for good."

"So what the hell am I supposed to do?" Perry was getting angry. Emotional roller coaster? Sure, Jordan and he fought more than God and Satan, but JD was making a request that Perry had no intention of keeping. He couldn't 'quit' her forever, could he? Ignoring the _Brokeback Mountain_ jokes that were popping into his head, he continued. "Where the hell do we go from here?"

"You need to think, long and hard about what you're going to do."

Perry scoffed. "Think about it. Use your brain." He was suddenly furious. "That's what you keep telling me. I'm trying my damned hardest, and you keep on believing that I've got all the answers!"

JD looked confused. "What are you talking about?" he asked. "I just asked you once to think on something. It's not a reoccurring problem."

"It is when even in my dreams you don't shut up about it," Perry growled. JD looked even more confused at this point. Well, Perry would enlighten him.

So Perry talked. He told JD every single dream, relating every detail while keeping his eyes locked to the other man's, watching them change between several emotions over the course of the story. When Perry finished, JD was quiet for a moment, and Perry felt like he was about to explode from frustration. Finally, JD spoke, eyes filled with a sad disquiet.

"If you can't figure out what your own damned dreams mean, you really aren't ready for this."

Perry's eyes popped open in shock. He uttered a few guttural sounds, unable to form actual words. JD continued before Perry's frustration overpowered him. "You kept on thinking it was Jordan that was the problem. It wasn't though, it was you. You're the problem, Perry," JD murmured, looking down with a sad expression. "And until you realize that, you won't figure out a solution, not in the dream or here now."

As Perry watched, JD slowly pulled himself away from the wall and leaned in, brushing a kiss to Perry's cheek before moving to the side, disappearing out the doorway. Perry just stood there, watching the door swing shut with a _thunk_. Silence crept over the room.

He let out a heavy sigh and sat down on the bench, pressing his face into his hands. JD was crazy, right? How could Perry be the problem? It wasn't Perry's fault that Jordan was a bitch and that JD couldn't handle a little tension.

Even Perry had trouble convincing himself that this was the truth, and he didn't leave the locker room for a long while. When he did leave, he still wasn't convinced.

>>

_Where was JD? Perry couldn't feel anyone next to him, and his eyes shot open. He let out a gasp when he saw the sight before him._

_JD was hanging loosely from the ceiling, hands bound to a rope leading up into the darkness. His feet were dangling a few inches above the ground, so he swung a little like the ceiling lamp next to him. The demon she-witch 'Perry' was also there, Perry noted with disgust. She was walking around JD, a whip held in one hand. She flicked it back and forth like a twitching snake, and Perry saw fear in JD's eyes as he watched the tip swish back and forth across the floor._

"_JD, I have a question," 'Perry' asked, sneering at Perry as he spoke. "Why do you trust Dr. Cox so much?" When JD didn't answer, she cracked the whip in front of her, causing both men to jump in apprehension._

"_Well…" JD began, "because he's always honest with me. If I'm doing something wrong, he'll tell me, and if I did something right, he tells me so. I guess that makes me feel… safe. Like I can trust him to let me know when things are going wrong and not keep me in the dark. He might be all 'angry Dr. Cox' at work, but he never does it to really hurt us. Right, Dr. Cox?" JD shot him a hopeful look._

_Perry, however, was quietly staring back at JD as several things began to fall into place in his head. Before this point, his dream self had been an isolated consciousness from his true self, but now they were one, and Perry was seeing the truth clearly._

_He had been hurting JD, by not being honest with the kid about Jordan, by taking out his anger towards her on him. He'd been so worried about keeping his domineering, heterosexual image up for the rest of the public that he'd been holding onto Jordan like a leech, using her to assure himself that everything was fine; that Newbie hadn't been making his stomach flip and flop and turn into knots for the longest time. And he'd been denying these feelings by taking his anger out on Newbie, to push the kid away so he didn't have to deal with what he felt. These dreams, they were just a way of opening up his emotions and letting JD slip inside. And Perry realized finally that he had no qualms about letting the kid in._

'_Perry' had stopped in front of JD, and as Perry watched, she raised the whip and prepared to strike. JD was struggling, cringing away from her, trying to somehow escape._

"_JD!"_

'_Perry' turned around to look at him, and JD stopped squirming, giving him a questioning look. Perry continued, pressing himself against the glass wall, eyes filled with desperation. He was out of ideas, and needed to say this "JD, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry that I was in denial about all of this. I'm sorry that I betrayed your trust. And I'm sorry that I couldn't think of any way out of this…"_

'_Perry' was sneering at him, but JD's face broke out into a smile. "It's okay. I'm glad you finally figured it out. And don't say that you don't know how to get out of this, because you do." Perry looked at JD questioningly. "You know deep down, what to do."_

_The final puzzle piece fell into place. Perry backed up as 'Perry' raised the whip, and then lunged forwards, straight at the glass. His mind was not set on how much it might hurt to slam into the wall, or how much force was needed to break it. He was only concentrated on one thing; saving JD._

_The glass shattered around him, spreading and cascading to the floor, flying outwards towards all three of them. Perry ignored it, not even feeling the pain as shards cut into him. He reached out for JD, who was looking at him with a mix of hope and desperation._

_And then everything went black._

>>

Perry was still running when he woke up. Well, he wasn't running, so much as he went lunging forwards, off the bed and onto the floor. "Damnit!" he yelled, jumping up and getting his balance before rushing out of the room. He rushed back in after a moment, shouting at himself. "Can't go out without a fucking shirt on!" he yelled, rushing to the closet and wrenching it open.

After haphazardly tossing on whatever was first on the rack, he sped out of his apartment and jumped into his car, pulling away into the night. Ten minutes later, he was standing in front of JD's door, slamming his fist into the wood. "JD, open up!" he yelled, cursing when he accidentally hit his hand onto the metal number hanging on the door.

There were sounds coming from inside, and a moment later JD opened the door, eyes drooped in exhaustion but also filled with annoyance. "Perry, what the hell?" he said, covering a yawn with his hand. "Do you know what time it is? You're lucky Turk and Carla are away for the weekend."

"That's not important right now," Perry said, his voice dropping slightly. "What is important is… I need to apologize." JD visibly perked up at this, and Perry pressed onwards. "I'm sorry that I've been more of an ass lately than I usually am. I'm sorry that I was taking my anger at Jordan out on you. You didn't need that; I need to deal with her on my own. And I'm sorry that I was such an ass about all this that you couldn't come to me about how you felt, that I had to initiate it."

JD was glowing. Perry didn't think he'd ever seen the kid happier in his life. "You, you really mean it?" he asked, eyes filled with hope.

"Yeah." JD grinned widely at this, and Perry could tell he was struggling to keep from crying. "And I've also made a decision… about Jordan." JD's smile dropped slightly, but his eyes were still hopeful.

"I quit." Perry moved forwards, wrapping his arms around JD's waist and pulling him into a deep kiss. The younger man responded with a moan, hungrily accepting the kiss and moving into it. He groped at Perry's shirt, and Perry felt him grasp the lapels of his jacket. JD pulled away for a moment, but used the space to pull Perry into the apartment. Perry growled in interest at JD's actions, and the younger man gave him a wink. Then he kicked the door shut behind them, and Perry knew that he was forgiven.

>>

"Hey, Perry?"

Perry watched JD move around the room, throwing a few things in the laundry and tossing Perry's forgotten clothing into a pile by the door. "What is it, Newbie?"

"Did you ever resolve those dreams?" JD asked, finishing his tidying up and crawling back into his bed. He moved closer to Perry, snuggling into his chest with a contented sigh.

"Eh, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I think I got the point." JD giggled at the comment, giving a nod and a yawn.

"Well, I'm glad you finally got it. Really, really glad." He yawned again, making a pleased noise as Perry started stroking his hair.

"Get some sleep JD." He was right after all; JD was a good name. He liked saying it. He'd have to use it more often.

"Good night, Per."

"Good night, JD."

>>

_There was glass on the floor around him, but Perry didn't care. He was only concentrated on the young man who was curled against him, nursing his broken leg gently. A cell phone stolen from the pocket of the fake Perry was lying next to them, with the numbers '911' punched in, and they could hear sirens in the background. Help was coming._

_Speaking of the fake, she was currently lying a few yards away, throat torn open by thousands of tiny shards of glass. Perry had turned JD away from the form, not wanting to upset him, and was currently wiping shards of glass out of his hair._

"_Is everything going to be okay?"_

_Perry hesitated, and then smiled. "Yeah, kid. Everything's going to be alright. I promise you."_

_JD looked up at him, a happy expression lighting up his face. "Good," he said, reaching up and planting a kiss on Perry's lips. "I'm really glad it will be."_

_And as the ambulances grew louder, the dream faded away for the last time._

THE END


End file.
